I think there’s something raw, something lovely, in a person’s demeanor after they’ve released all the emotion it takes to really cry. After all their energy is drained from either pushing all their pain out or trying their hardest to keep it all in. When all that’s left is the remnants of that strength that cracked floating in what used to be that stability and you can hear the nerves still firing. When all that pain has fallen at their feet and they can start over. They begin building themselves back up to endure, and there’s a calmness in that.
This nail means you’ve died. That blood disease took you From this Earth From your family From me.
The scars on these stones will never heal. But some day With enough wind, And sun, And rain, It will become a foothold for life.
A new life. Not yours. You, my beautiful boy, are never coming home again.
I don’t drive this nail into rock with anguish My sadness doesn’t plant it here. The memory of you isn’t strong enough. I drive it with a fury And passion At the thought of how many days Lay before us. I would erase those days and join you Now.
But I know what you’d say. I know what you’d want. To live my days and find happiness again. And I couldn’t bear to face you not having done that. So you’ll forgive me if Right now I hate you. And use that hate to drive this nail into stone And hopefully, the remove the nails In my heart as well.